I hate all girls vehemently.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
