I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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