You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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