Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We have started to decorate penises.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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