please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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