my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
