dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize