I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
