Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
