So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
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it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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