My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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