chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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