I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
