what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
