i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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