For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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