Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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