the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
