Pants 0. Shit 1.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
