the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
