There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
