Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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