How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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