College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
