jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
