We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
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CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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