Non-Jews are for practice
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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