is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
