You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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