Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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