i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We had to coat check the pizza.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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