The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
