At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
