i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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