all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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