my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
