Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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