You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just found puke in my bra..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
