I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She said her name was "party"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
