And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
