i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
