i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
