just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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