You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize