my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
