the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
