my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
