Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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