I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
