just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
