sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
