yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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