I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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