Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize