Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
