listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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