I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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