I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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