never play flip cup with pint glasses
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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