he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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