Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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